Thought Series – Resisting Truth Becomes the Biggest Battle One Fights
Consultant Director – TEXUB | Member UAE Superbrands Council | Charter Member Tie Dubai
When life is lived at a high level of honesty, life is healing. In almost all situations, resisting the truth becomes the battle we all fight.
The best way to explain this is through the workings of the modern-day washing machine. Let’s say the rinse, wash and spin cycle is over. The clothes in the machine are in a semi-dry, yet damp condition. They need to be taken out for drying. Strangely, even with the washed yet damp clothes, the longer they are kept in the washing machine, the fouler the odor gets. If they are kept that way for a few days, the stench may become unbearable.
One can safely guess that the same thumb rule applies to thoughts and emotions. The more and more thoughts, particularly misunderstandings are built up but not expressed, either due to anger issues, ego issues between two parties, or perceived level and status differences, the greater will be the gaps in the relationships.
All such thoughts formed but not clarified, all misunderstood emotions and feelings are like the windscreen of a car which has not been cleaned regularly. It is ironical that the dirt, the dust, the soot, the scratches are not on the objects we view, but in the medium through which the objects are being viewed. The same would apply to a pair of spectacles which are being used for long without being cleaned.
The secret of good emotional wellbeing would lie in finding ways to resolve differences to the extent possible.
In hindsight, many like me now realize that in the first half of our lives, till the age of 25-30, like any other growing kids and cocky youngsters, wetoo were making mistakes, mostly unintentionally, some intentionally, and then either unwilling or unable to resolve issues and differences. In the latter half of our lives, for some
like me, the realization clearly dawned those old feelingsthat surface repeatedly to get resolved in some form.
Emotional stress is essentially a storage disease. Very similarto the tons of junk data we all end up storing on our various devices, without consciously creating adequate time and effort to do a periodic cleanup.
The same applies to sorting out issues in relationships. The key question that always arises is that, between two individuals or organizations or countries, what if one side wants to genuinely clarify and sort out issues to do a reset of the relationship while the other side, due to reasons of either deep hurt, or superiority, or status, or just temperament, do not feel the same way. Yes, in some cases, the damage caused may be irreparable. Yet, maturity could allow for a decent level of relationship to survive.
In today’s modern day, high technology world, where our generation is on the verge of transferring the baton to the generation which has grown up with technology and devices, if there is one quality that we need to impart, one area we need to seriously coach and mentor, it is to allow for others to express their thoughts and feelingsand be allowed to speak.
Seek first to understand before being understood.
While, for our generation, it was quite okay to have many things left unsaid and buried under the carpet, purely due to a certain hierarchy of respect, we are dealing with a future generation who are way too open, way too accommodating, way too energetic, and wish to have a healthy debate and seek answers and resolutions to issues.
So, while many like me profess to have started inculcating this quality only over the past several decades, it has helped to a very large extent in getting a clear understanding of the fact that differences can and should be only at the level of issues or topics of concern or importance.
Differences should never permeate to damage or disturb relationships.
Let us not wait for ideal conditions. They may never arise. Be simple. Create the environment to express and allow for freedom of expression from the other party.
In the final summary, even if we cannot be the solution, let us at least be the solace for many. Even if we cannot help sometimes, let us not intentionally harm. Even if we cannot solve the problem, let us not cause it.
The crux question – what exactly is a high level of honesty?
On a scale of 100, if one can always be in the band of 75-90 in terms of honesty, that would rate as high.
The past few years have taught most of us that material parameters of success would look even more exciting if basic ground rules of co-existence are practiced in small and meaningful ways.
It is not one at the cost of the either. Both can and must beautifully co-exist.